life

Halfway to Motivation

As with most new-ish (I’m 13 months postpartum at the point of writing so I’m not sure I can blame this entry on being a “new” mom, but I’m going to try…) moms and women in general I am concerned with my overall health and appearance.  Mostly for health related reasons but also for some vanity but at this point I’ve have just gotten to a low level of concern and I haven’t been able to translate that into any actual motivation to do something about it.  I was hoping at my yearly wellness visit the doctor would say I was ridiculously unhealthy and going to die tomorrow if I didn’t change something about my life because maybe that would have been the kick to the @$$ that I needed but alas I’m still a relatively healthy 35 year old.

I have struggled with size issues for the majority of my life in various ways.  I’m 5’10” on a short day and have shoulders wide enough to qualify to be a linebacker (shoulder pads were a bad look for me) and I’ve always been on the hefty side.  We could get into the myriad of reasons why that has happened (including genetics, my father was 6’3”) but at this point it’s no one’s responsibility but my own and I have been trying to get back on the health and wellness bandwagon since I stopped officially “eating for two” in March 2016 but trying to juggle the craziness that is a working mom life and a toddler who demands a lot of attention and occasionally wakes up at all hours of the night for who knows whatever reason I have constantly made excuses for why I can’t do this that or the other thing even though I know what I need to do: eat less and move more.  Simple, right?  Easy – not so much!

I have always been a huge advocate of exercising in the morning because it gets it out of the way (eating the frog in the words of Mark Twain) but that means currently I’d have to get up around 5am (and if work wants me to start at normal time that gets pushed even earlier to 4am) and I am inherently a night owl (I’m typing this at 9:44pm).  If you tried to guess how many times I’ve ACTUALLY gotten up and worked out in the morning I’d bet you would definitely aim too high.  I like the quiet of night time when everything is settling down and people are quietly snuggled up just relaxing or sleeping.  Nighttime to me has always been more peaceful.  Of course while it’s more peaceful it also means I’m more exhausted.  I heard once that we have only so much energy to make decisions or spend on will power and by the end of that day that energy is exhausted and I believe it.  While I’m a better nighttime person, I’m definitely not a better person at nighttime.  I just want to curl up, watch TV/YouTube, read, goof around online and just enjoy the tranquility.

With all that said, I’m trying to actively change my behavior so I can get up at 5am to go for a run in the morning.  One of the joys of moving in with Babci is that there is a treadmill in the basement, no need to go out to the gym or run outside especially if the baby is asleep, just go downstairs and get it done.  I’m proud to say thought I’ve made it 50% there!  I’ve been getting up to shower in the morning.  I have also never been a shower in the morning type of person, I’ve usually done my showering at night; maybe that’s because my parents always gave us baths at night, maybe it’s because I could get up later in the morning, who knows?  But I’ve made it to 50% of a morning person!

I’ve joined a StepBet (it’s like DietBet but for steps instead of weight loss) for May 8 – June 18 so I’m hoping that’s going to give me some extra motivation with the goal in mind to get up and get as much done before my day starts so when the munchkin goes to bed I can focus on some relaxing time or the much more likely at this point, studying for a comprehensive exam to finish out my masters.

I’ll keep you posted on this one.

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